Bad Habits! Most people can remember bad habits they had when they were growing up. I recall developing the habit of nail biting. In an effort to cure this bad habit my dad painted stuff on my finger nails that tasted really, really bad. Do you think it helped? No, it just meant that when I practised my nail biting habit I did it with a bad taste. The only thing that helped me kick the habit was a girl friend! I replaced the bad habit with a new one - nail manicure. There is incredible power in a bad habit! Habits are formed through conditioning where behaviour is learnt through a process of reinforcement. Reinforcement is associated with pleasure, comfort, rewards, or an end to discomfort. There are two types of reinforcement: positive reinforcement occurs when a reward or pleasant event follows an action; and negative reinforcement also increases responding, but it does so by ending discomfort.
There are a habits that Christians must develop to grow spiritually, because (a) Spiritual Growth is not Instantaneous! God is at work in us by his Spirit. He is a gardener (John 15:1-9; 2 Pet 1:4-8). Spiritual growth occurs as our relationship with God develops - it happened in the context of a friendship with creator and creature. It takes time to develop a relationship. (b) Spiritual Growth is not Spontaneous! We grow as we gain more knowledge about God through the Bible; from other Christians; in books; our experiences and the world around us; and as we apply that knowledge to our lives. Spiritual growth is a process that includes growing in knowledge and holiness. (c) Spiritual Growth is not Pious! We grow as we grow in holiness - as we become like Jesus in everything we think, say and do (Ps 1:1-2; 119:97-105; Eph 5:1-2). Spiritual growth shows in the way we live our lives- Galatians 5:22-23.
The following Seven Habits for Spiritual Growth are suggested (these should be taught to youth at the new-convert and believer commitment levels in the model):
H - Have Daily Devotions
A - Attend Church Services
B - Bible Memory and Study
-I- - Identify a Mentor
T - Tithe your Income
S - Strive to Obey God
S - Share your Faith
With each habit for spiritual growth you will learn a tool to help your actions become habits.
Habit #1: Have Daily Devotions
The first habit for spiritual growth is to have a daily time and place to meet with God. You must realise the positive value of meeting with God each morning: God wants to meet with you, He enjoys your company; God wants to equip and empower you to handle the day; and God want you to aks him for his help through the day. During this time you read what God has written and you talk to God.
Tool: Learning to Communicate with God
To read God’s word following this three-step plan: (a) Meet a person - don’t just read a book; (b) Make a connection - with something you are facing in your life; and (c) Write it down - keep a journal to record the passage you read; it’s meaning to you and your prayer requests. To talk to God write a letter to God, with the following headings: (a) “Dear, Lord, I love you ...”; (b) “Thank you for ...”; (c) “Lord I am sorry for ...”; (d) “Please ...”; and (e) “I promise ...” Now take the letter and speak it out to God. Extra ideas for praying: Think of descriptive words about God and pray: "God you are..." Think of ways you saw God at work yesterday and pray: "God I saw you at work in..." Think of things you've done that God did not enjoy and pray: "God I am sorry that I..." Think of five good things about your life and pray: "God I thank you for..."
Habit #2: Attend Church Churches
The second habit for spiritual growth is to start attending church services. Believers are not meant to be lone rangers. As members of the body of Christ each one is a different part of the body, together we function as a whole. When one believer is not attending church, the body is not complete. Hebrews 10:23-25 talks about not giving up meeting together because we need to encourage one another. Use this Spiritual Gifts Simulation Game to show youth that they need to meet with other believers. Divide the big group into small groups of eight people each. One participant is blind folded and guided through an obsticle course. Ideally this should involve climbing over or under tables, walking over a bridge (row of chairs) or any other creative obstacles that don't endanger life! The other 7 participants are assigned one of the seven gifts mentioned in Romans 12:6-8. Give each participant time to plan how they will be involved in guiding the blind-folded person. Then let them meet together and discuss how they will work together to get the person through the obsticle course. Help them decide who should do what when (ie. the gift of Prophecy begins by warning of danger if a wrong turn is taken, the Teacher instructs the Server how to guide the person using their arm, the Mercy giver looks for the fall to assist, the Encourager does his thing, the Giver provides a map or other resources, etc.). Show how we need to use our gifts and work together as a united body. If youth ask the question: "How Often Should I Attend Church?" suggest that they don't just go to church but get involved in church! Involved enough to live consistently with your new identity; to "Love one another as I have loved you"; and to discover and use your spiritual gifts. Explain what happens at church: worship and pray with with other believers; be taught from the Bible; fellowship with other believers; use spiritual gifts; minister to one another; and share with those in need.
Tool: Learning to Worship with Others
Each believer should aim to attend a church service each week. It is also important to identify and start to use your spiritual gift in the body.
Habit #3: Bible Memory and Study
The third habit for spiritual growth is memorising and studying the Bible. Psalm 119:11 says that if you hide God’s Word in your hearts you won’t sin against Him. Jesus was able to defeat the Devil because he knew the Bible. He did not have time to look the verse up, but could quote it from memory. To learn Scripture: ask God to help you remember it; review the verse regularly; write the verse on a piece of card and carry it with you. A second part of this habit involves studying the Bible in greater depth. The Word of God is directly connected to spiritual growth: it is like milk for newborn babies (1 Peter 2:2); solid food for adults (Hebrews 5:13,14); water for a tree (Psalm 1:2,3); foundations for a house (Matthew 7:24-27); and freedom for a slave (John 8:31,32).
Tool: Learning to Use God’s Word
To memorise God’s Word start with these ten verses: Joshua 1:8-9; Psalm 119:11; Isaiah 40:31; Proverbs 3:5-6; John 3:16; Acts 1:8; Romans 8:28; Philippians 4:13; 1 John 1:9; Revelation 3:20. To study God’s word select a passage of Scripture, read it twice, and then look for a promise to take, a command to obey, a prayer to repeat, a sin to avoid, an example to follow, a blessing to enjoy, a condition to meet, a verse to memorise and a teaching to understand.
Habit #4: Identify a Mentor
The fourth habit for spiritual growth is to find someone who has been a Christian longer than you have who will be your spiritual mentor. As the relationship develops it should become a context in which you feel free to share your joys and pains, strengths and weaknesses.
Tool: Learning to be Accountable before God
Identify who will be your spiritual mentor. Arrange to meet with this person weekly or bi-monthly. Agree to talk about your spiritual growth and other aspects of your life. The following questions can be used: (1) How is your relationship with God right now? (2) What have you read in the Bible in the past week? (3) Where do you find yourself resisting him these days? (4) What specific things are you praying for in regard to others? (5) What specific things are you praying for in regard to yourself? (6) What general reading are you doing? (7) What have you done to play? (8) Are you sensing any spiritual attacks from the enemy right now? (9) Are there any unresolved conflicts in your relationships? (10) When last did you spend time with a non-Christian?
Habit #5: Tithe your Income
The fifth habit for spiritual growth is to be a responsible manager with the resources that God has given you. Part of your responsibility as Christians is to give a portion of what God has given you back to Him through the local church. These gifts are used to extend the kingdom of God in the area. Explore with youth the following statements: (1) "There is a selfish attitude in this generation. I think this generation is primarily concerned with themselves — "What can I get out of this?" "Will it make me any money?" "Will it help me gain more earthly goods?" There is a real ‘me-ism' that keeps us from darkening the doors of the church? Toby McKeehan of DC Talk. (2) "I serve nothing and no one, especially not God". Mist41, America Online. Communicate to youth that we are called to serve: (a) God by building a relationship with him; obeying his commands; studying the Bible; praying and worshipping; and using our spiritual gifts; (b) our Families by loving, respecting, caring for and remaining faithful to them; (c) other Christians by: sharing and meetings their needs; praying for and encouraging them; and using our gifts to strengthen the church; and (d) the World by sharing our faith; living as examples of Christ; and meeting people's needs as best we can. Read the following verse: "Your body is the home of the Holy Spirit God gave you, and he lives within you. Your own body does not belong to you. For God has bought you with a great price. So use every part of your body to give glory back to God because he owns it" (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Talk about how that we Stewads and not Owners! God Owns Everything; God Gives us All we Need; and God Uses us as Channels. Owners ask: How much of my money will I give to God? while Stewards ask: How much of God's money will I keep for myself? Owners ask: Will I enjoy this? Can I afford it? while Stewards ask: How will this purchase affect my ability to advance God's purposes? Owners say: My finances and giving are my private business! while Stewards ask: I look for wise counsel so I can be faithful with God's resources! Finally, teach youth that the tithe is an act of Obedience (Malachi 3:8-11); Worship (2 Corinthians 9:6-9) and Faith (Mark 12:41-44).
Tool: Learning to Give to God
During the next month keep a record of all income that you receive. Add it all up and give a percentage back to God through the local church (10% is a good start). Then look for other opportunities where you can give to people or charities that are needy.
Habit #6: Strive to Obey God
The sixth habit for spiritual growth is to strive to obey God. Jesus says “If you love Me, you will obey Me” (John 14:23 ). You must do things that make Jesus happy and avoid things that make him unhappy.
Tool: Learning to Please God
In your journal write this down: “One thing I think Jesus would like for me to change in my life is ...” and “One part of me I think Jesus would like for me to change is ...” For the next seven days every morning when you get up, surrender that issue to the Lord, praying that He will help you to become obedient to Him. Have youth reflect on the following questions: (1) Am I having daily time alone with God? (2) Are my thoughts pure and free from lust? (3) Is there anyone against whom I am holding a grudge? (4) Have I been harsh or unkind in the use of my tongue? (5) In what ways have I been tempted to be proud? (6) How have I given to the needy lately? (7) Am I fully submissive to authority? (8) Who is it that I are tempted to jealous of? (9)
Is there any believer with whom I am out of harmony? (10) Was there a time when my love for God was hotter? (11) Have I taken anything not belonging to me, large or small? (12) Have I avoided outbursts of anger or rage? (13) What have I been inclined to boast about? (14) Have I avoided obscenity, foolish talk, and course jokes? (15) Is there hate, malice, or ill will in my heart for anyone? As you live each day you should be asking yourself: What Would Jesus Do in this situation? Wearing a W.W.J.D. bracelet is a good practical tool. Here are some specific areas to explore: Hang out with people who treat others badly, hug a stranger who has AIDS, cheat on a test to get a passing grade, help a relative die who has a terminal illness, stay at a party where people are drinking, copy answers from a friend's homework, keep the money when the cashier gives you too much change, smoke a cigarette, lie to your parents, speed to make it to school on time, maintain sexual purity, spread rumors about someone who hurt you, lie for a friend to an authority figure, be the first to talk to the new person in school, date someone who doesn't believe in God.
Habit #7: Share your Faith
The seventh habit for spiritual growth involves talking about your new relationship with Jesus. You need to pray and look for opportunities to talk about the One who loves you.
Tool: Learning to Talk about God
Pray the following prayer: “Lord, open the heart of one of my friends so that there is a natural opportunity to talk about You, open the opportunity for me to share and open my mouth.” Then make it your desire to bring one friend to heaven with you who does not yet know Jesus. Complete the following commitment: “Jesus, I will do whatever it takes to bring my friend _______ , to heaven with me.” To put feet to your commitment take these steps: pray daily for your friend, tell your friend about Jesus and bring your friend to an appropriate youth group or church event. Share the following relational approach to evangelism with youth: There's a Relationship: (1) you're supposed to have with God (Col 1:16); (2) you don't have because of sin (Isa 59:2; Rom 6:23); (3) you can have through Jesus (1 Pet 3:18; Eph 2:9); (4) you must choose to have (John 3:16); and (5) you can have for life (1 John 5:13).
Challenge: Someone has said that in order to develop a habit you must do something for 21 days in a row - then the action will turn into a habit. Each time you do the action you reinforce the habit and engage in conditioning. In order to master the Seven Habits for Spiritual Growth you will need to work with each tool for about a month.
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