1. LARGE GROUP EVENTS
The day of the big events is not over. There will probably always be a place for big groups of young people to get together, such as at a concert or to hear a speaker. The national camp experience is one example of the interest still present in youth getting together with hundreds of other youth to experience their faith. What is being questioned, however, is the effectiveness of these events in effecting life-change and a concern is expressed for groups who only use the big event context for ministry among youth. A book like The Willow Creek Guide to Leading Life-Changing Small Groups, by Bill Donahue, is enough to make any youth leader question their exclusive use of big group events. However, even the cell church makes use of big group celebration meetings that function alongside the small cell groups.
Tony Campolo, in The Church & the American Teenager, Page 141f, speaks of a phenomenon where large gatherings of people can be stimulated to interact in a spirited fashion that produces a "collective effervescence". This in turn, compels participants to behave in ways that are foreign to their individual personalities. When individuals interact in a group setting they collectively manifest traits that transcend the traits inherent in those who make up the group. All the participants in the group can be affected by these collective traits. He stresses that this can have a dark as well as a light side. On the light side, it is possible that certain positive religious traits and beliefs can emerge in large groups. Campolo says: "Faith, for instance, may be hard for individuals to muster by themselves, but when they are in a group that expresses faith as part of its collective effervescence, they may find themselves full of faith." He goes on to warn about the dark side - the collective effervescence generated at a mass meeting could be diabolical as well as righteous.
In the context of discipleship, what place is there, if any, for the large group event? There is still a place for the youth group to run a large Bible study event in which Christian youth are invited to study the Bible, to worship together, to share their concerns and to pray for one another. Then there is a place for youth group meetings that explore a relevant issue affecting youth or that discuss some aspect of the Christian faith. The value of the big group is seen as there is a positive collective effervescence and an identification of the members with others believers who are also growing in the faith.
Leaders must realise, according to the commitment level model of youth ministry, that the number of people involved in ministry at a discipleship level event will be considerably less than at an evangelistic level event. This is found in the following principle: the higher the commitment the lower the attendance.
2. SMALL GROUP EVENTS
A number of different types of small group events could be organised in a youth group context, including accountability groups where a number of people commit to help one another live the Christian life; Bible study groups where people get together with the purpose of studying the Bible; mentor groups where an older Christian meets with a younger Christian for prayer, accountability and study; or prayer and share groups where the focus is on each person's concerns and praying for them. See information on cell groups in the Growth Ministry article.
3. EXTENDED-LENGTH EVENTS
Rick Lawrence, in the Group article referred to earlier, says: "Extended-length learning experiences have more power to change lives than any other single programming option." Leaders need to harness the power of learning experiences such as trips, camps and retreats.
A. Trips
Leaders can increase the impact of discipleship if they choose a location for the learning experience that will reinforce the message. When youth are taken outside of their regular environment, they will be more receptive to learning.
B. Camps
Christian Camps are a highlight for many on their faith journey. Camping is about doing things, and more specifically about doing them together with other people. Youth attend willing and expecting to enjoy themselves as they learn in community with other people, and they are most receptive to learning during a weekend away from their comfort zones.
(1) The Purpose of Christian Camping
Three main reasons for camping with youth have been presented by Tom Slater in, The New Camping Book: (a) Sharing Lives - relationships are at the core of the Christian faith, and are a deep-seated human need. A camp provides campers an opportunity to enter into relationships with others as they eat, play and experience truth together. A depth of contact is experienced that goes far deeper than a youth group meeting. (b) Teaching Truths - a camp context is an ideal place for youth to learn about God and His place in their lives. The outdoor environment has a way of prompting wonder that leads to a sense of the nearness of the Creator who is ever present to relate to people. The time available provides the opportunity for getting to know people as individuals and exploring issues that relate to the Christian life. As an integrated life-style of Christian living is evidenced, a great impact will be made on those who have not yet begun their own faith journey. (c) Experience Creation - camping offers an opportunity to meet personal needs and to meet with God through: (i) appreciation of creation which leads to a desire to know the Creator; (ii) enjoyment of the outdoors that relieves stress caused by the pressures of life; (iii) participation in activities designed to stimulate group situational learning; and (iv) relating to the natural environment that reveals a need to care for it.
(2) The Motives for Christian Camping
Two strong motives lie at the foundation of camping: they are a desire to win people to faith in Jesus Christ, and a desire to take people further in their relationship with God, others and themselves. These two aspects do not need to be seen as conflicting. Unfortunately, a narrow view of evangelism that looks for simple decisions and a narrow view of teaching as Bible study and discussion groups has led to this tension. Christian camping needs to include both evangelism and teaching. Leaders must think about Christianity from a developmental perspective, rather than as a clearly defined set of decisions. By describing growth in Christian understanding as a faith journey leaders will have a better basis for ministry. Thinking of Christian teaching in terms of faith shaping will show that those who have not made the decision to serve Christ have been influenced towards a future commitment to Christ.
(3) The Teaching in Christian Camping
There are four aspects of effective teaching at a camp: (a) love for the campers - leaders must get to know campers and try to meet their needs; (b) conviction about beliefs - when leaders are certain of what they believe their teaching will be more dynamic; (c) the work of the Holy Spirit - He is the one who removes the blindfold from people; and (d) creative teaching methods - leaders must chooses creative teaching methods for the camp. A few areas for teaching are considered: (i) Counselling - this involves relaxed encounters between campers and leaders. For effective counselling to take place trust, privacy and time are essential. The methods used include careful listening and clarification, questions to stimulate thought, Bible reading, prayer, and giving advice as appropriate. Some of the most significant ministry on a camp takes place in one-on-one encounters. (ii) Activity - an activity-centred approach to teaching involves the whole camper, body, mind and emotions, in the learning experience. Both simulated, ie. drama, role-play and simulation games, as well as real experiences, ie. group worship and service projects, are appropriate methods. (iii) Instruction - up front talks and preaching have a place in clearly explaining basic ideas and getting a message across. But in the electronic age it must be done well, and include a variety of methods and visual aids. Such methods include: skits, debates, challenging questions, object lessons, overhead projector, audio-visuals, and other such attention grabbers. (iv) Discussion - the camp must include group discussions with skilful facilitators who have sufficient questions and background material prepared to lead the experience.
(4) The Curriculum in Christian Camping
The late Marshall McLuhan titled his critique of TV The Medium is the Message. He might have had camping in mind. Camp is more than a good setting for meetings. To campers, camp becomes a life experience that communicates God's love in Christ. The setting, the staff, the program become sources of spiritual input, in other words, curriculum. The following definition of camping involves five distinctives: Christian camping is an extended group experience in an outdoor setting under trained leadership with spiritual objectives. (a) Extended Time - it is probable that one week at a camp provides more Christian education hours than the camper receives in a year of church life. Youth attend church for an hour or two, then return to home and community, whereas camp leads youth into a new world for unbroken days, a world where Christian adults and peers reinforce Christian teaching. The climate of friendship and fun opens hearts to spiritual truth that the Holy Spirit nurtures day after day. (b) The Group - this is a world of broken hearts and shattered homes. Camp becomes family. While camp activity builds excitement, the dorm group with a counsellor is the pulse of Christian camping. A caring counsellor becomes a surrogate parent, a friend, and a channel of God's love. Dorm devotions must be an integral part of the teaching strategy. (c) The Leader - Christian camping is people serving Christ outdoors. Camper/leader bonding accounts for much of camping's strength. The staff becomes curriculum - a source of spiritual input for campers. Leaders should create opportunities for staff to share their hearts with campers. (d) The Outdoors - Leaders should major in the outdoors! Unplug the TV, pitch tents, build fires, lead hikes, build ropes courses and climb walls. Like the camp and the staff, the outdoors becomes curriculum. The heavens declare God's glory (Psalm 19:1). The creation reveals the Creator's power and Godhead (Romans 1:20). (e) Spiritual Objectives - camping is a force for the church because it invites people to respond to God's claims. Camping presents the Gospel in a life context suited to each camper (Journal of Christian Camping, May/June 1996, by Lloyd Mattson).
C. Retreats
Rick Lawrence presents ten keys to impactful retreats: (1) Make self-discovery a primary goal - challenge youth to explore answers to tough questions by involving them in open-ended learning adventures. (2) Create space for youth to be curious - craft learning activities that arouse your young people's innate curiosity. (3) Make youth responsible for their own learning - be a facilitator of learning, not the designated cram-it-down-your-throat knowledge dispenser. (4) Establish a warm, caring, and welcoming environment - impact happens where trust is established, so involve youth in extended small-group relationships. (5) Treat both success and failure as opportunities to learn - success breeds the confidence to risk anew, and failure breeds the humility to risk with clarity. (6) Foster a team environment that includes healthy cooperation - encourage team and friendship-building by giving youth challenges they must work together to achieve. (7) Encourage youth to express their diversity - work to create an environment where questioning, doubting, and positive conflict can thrive. (8) Give youth plenty of contact with nature - there's something about God's creation that can refresh and bring stillness like nothing else. (9) Plan for solitude and silence - chaos and fragmentation are throttled by quiet, so give youth the gift of aloneness. (10) Stress that youth serve one another - service involves giving gifts to others, so make it a gift-giving experience.
4. CHURCH EVENTS
Youth leaders should not overlook the impact of church services in the ministry of discipling young people. It is important that youth leaders have an input in the life of the church so they can share with those involved in leading the services any concerns they may have about the suitability of the services to young people. The service should be age-inclusive in every aspect so that all who attend are catered for. Young people can be involved in church services by participating in worship and helping with administrative duties. The benefit for discipleship comes from the sense of identification they have with the body, the teaching they receive and the opportunities they have for ministry involvement.
5. SERVICE EVENTS
While this aspect of youth ministry has already been explained in this course, it should be noted that service opportunities are a vital context in which discipleship takes place. Whether the youth group 'adopts' a children's home; engages in random acts of kindness or runs other service projects or programmes, they should be targeted to growing believers as a means of spiritual growth.
Paul Borthwick in a Group Magazine Article, Service with a Smile, suggests the following guidelines for service events: (1) Set the Pace - youth are equipped with 'hypocrisy detectors' that sound an alarm when an adult communicates, "do as I say, not as I do." Leaders should first challenge themselves to serve! (2) Serve Regularly - a once off summer mission experiences does not change lives the way year-round service does. A brief burst of other-centeredness doesn't negate 50 weeks immersed in a "me-first" lifestyle. Life-changing service means consistent service. It's the once-a-week outreach or the every-Saturday trip to the nursing home that eventually trains us in Christian love. (3) Make it Manageable - when leaders talk about meeting human needs some youth shy away because they feel overwhelmed. They need realistic and reachable service opportunities, ones that match their skills and abilities. (4) Include Training - while the willingness of young people to be involved is important, their capability is as important as the service opportunity. Leaders must communicate to youth that caring for others is serious business. The training could include: orientation to the target community before serving at a feeding center for the homeless; asking an elderly person to talk to the group on "How you can communicate love to an old person" before starting a ministry in a retirement home; training youth on the youth mission team in cross-cultural adaptation; taking the mission team on a three-day work-oriented retreat before the actual project so team members can simulate what it's like to live together. (5) Debrief - what happens after the project may be more important than the service experience itself. Human suffering may overwhelm more sensitive youth and they might need help processing what they've seen so they can see themselves as part of the solution. Leaders must let youth to voice their questions: Why does God allow this suffering? Why don't this old lady's children ever come to see her? Why are poor people often more dynamic Christians than me? What difference does my little contribution make in the face of these staggering needs? Leaders don't have to know the answers to all these questions. Sometimes the best lesson is to show youth that service is right even when some questions remain unanswered. The purpose of debriefing is to help youth process what they've experienced so they'll serve again, and so they'll grow as much as they can spiritually.
6. MENTORING EVENTS
In a business context a mentor is a person who helps the protégé move up the corporate ladder. He is usually older and more experienced and therefore able to help the protégé get where he or she wants to be. The mentor clears the way, gives some travel tips and smooths the bumps. Occasionally the mentor helps the protégé develop the necessary skills to navigate an especially difficult turn in the road. The mentor is not so much interested in fixing the road as in helping the protégé to become a competent traveller. Here the mentor is a trusted guide rather than a tour director. The purpose of a mentor is to remind us than we can survive the terror of the coming journey and undergo the transformation by moving us through, not around, our fear. Mentors are guides who lead us along the journey of our lives. They are people who have been there before us, and so are able to help us along our journey.
A. The Definition of Mentoring
Mentoring is defined as a relational experience where one person empowers another by sharing God-given resources. The God-given resources include wisdom, experience, patterns, habits of obedience and principles. Many leaders, unfortunately only realise their need for a network of significant relationships around them when it is too late. Gordon MacDonald has said, "Never before have I been more convinced that adult Christians need to form personal friendships with those who share our commitments and values." He uses the analogy of the pit crew. We are called to help one another win. We need to inspect one another's fuel level and sound a warning when they are running low. David Stone, in Spiritual Growth in Youth Ministry, says, "Through the years, prayer, Bible study, share group participation and regular worship have been important to me. But never has anything been as powerfully important to me as having a spiritual friend." Paul Borthwick has said, "Spiritual health demands a friend who will walk alongside us, speak truth to us (even when it hurts), and keep us honest in our relationships with God and with other people."
B. The Mentoring Relationship
Mentoring is a Biblical concept. In 2 Timothy 1:1-8 we read of how Paul thanks God for Timothy (3a), he prays for Timothy each day (3b), he longs to be with him (4), he shows that he knows about his life (5), and he speaks into his life (6-8). In fact when we consider Paul's life closer we note that he had a wide range of mentor relationships and was simultaneously being mentored: Gamaliel and Barnabas were mentors to him, Timothy, Titus and others were his mentorees and there were numerous other "partners in the Gospel" who were co-mentors. Paul grew from a mutual sense of responsibility with people around him. He needed each one and each one needed him.
Paul repeatedly encouraged believers to follow the examples of others: "Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you" (Philippians 3:17). "Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ" (1 Corinthians 11:1)
A network of vertical (mentor, mentorees) and horizontal relationships (peers or co-mentors) is essential for believers who desire to grow in the faith. The following model shows the range of relationships that are needed:
(1) Upward Mentoring
The leader should establish mentoring relationships with mature followers of Jesus Christ who have experiences and resources that will help the leader develop in the faith. This is a relationship with an individual who has gone before and is therefore equipped to give direction and perspective. As a person discovers their gifting and pursues appropriate ministries they need discipling, coaching and teaching. As they progress in the ministry they need the periodic empowering of a spiritual guide, counsellor and sponsor. Upward mentors provide perspective, accountability and encouragement to persevere.
(2) Downward Mentoring
No matter what age or life stage we find ourselves in, we must be concerned about those who are coming up behind us. This dimension of mentoring involves helping to develop the capacity, commitment and values that will enable those following us to serve God faithfully. It should be remembered that there are mutual benefits from mentoring others. They will in turn challenge our thinking with their fresh ideas, test our flexibility in developing approaches to problems and provide accountability which checks our integrity and consistency.
(3) Peer Co-Mentoring
Our co-mentors are friends who have much in common with us, ie. age, families and circumstances. They are a great source of encouragement and protection. Co-peers are mentors of one another. Because they are the same age and share common experiences, they are able to be more relaxed and open with each other. As a result they tend to operate at a more personal level. They know each other, are able to identify with each other, provide mutual stimulation and personal accountability.
Paul Stanley in Connecting: The mentoring Relationships you need to Succeed in Life, NavPress, 1992, summarises the three dimensions by saying that we need a balance of: "Upward mentors, who have gone before us and can show the way; Downward mentorees, who shake our complacency, renew our convictions, keep us on our toes, and multiply our ministry for His kingdom; Peer co-mentors, who know us, identify with us, and provide mutual stimulation and personal accountability."
Click here to view and print out a chart to keep track of mentors in the three dimensions. The chart stresses the need to find peer mentors both in your ministry context (internal) and outside (external).
Paul Stanley says that there are seven types of upward and downward mentors and he divides these into mentors into three categories: intensive; occasional and passive. On the left (see diagram below) the involvement is deliberate and deep, there is an awareness of effort, contact is more frequent and mutual commitment is strong; but as we move to the right the involvement is less deliberate, and there is less accountability. These types of mentors are common to both upward and downward mentors.
Intensive
1. The Discipler-mentor teaches and enables a mentoree in the basics of following Christ.
2. The Spiritual Guide is a godly, mature follower of Christ who shares knowledge, skills, and basic philosophy on what it means to increasingly realize Christlikeness in all areas of life.
3. The Coaching-mentor, who knows how to do something well, provides motivation and imparts skills to a mentoree to equip them to complete a task.
Occasional
4. The Counsellor-mentor gives timely advice and impartial perspective on the mentoree's view of self, others, circumstances, and ministry.
5. The Teacher-mentor imparts knowledge and understanding of a particular subject.
6. The Sponsor-mentor, a person with credibility and positional or spiritual authority within an organisation, relates to a mentoree not having these resources so as to enable development of the mentoree and the mentoree's influence in the organisation.
Passive
7. The Model-mentor is a passive mentor relationship that is less deliberateness and the model may not even know about the role they play in the other person's life. There are two kinds of models:
(a) The Contemporary Model is a living person whose life or ministry is used as an example to indirectly impart skills, principles, and values that empower another person.
(b) The Historical Model is a person now dead whose life or ministry is written in a biographical form and is used as an example to indirectly impart skills, principles, and values that empower another person.
The following chart provides a means to keep track of upward mentors:
The following chart provides a means to keep track of downward mentorees:
Peer Co-Mentors
There are three kinds of peer co-mentors:
1. Acquaintance
With this mentor there is an exchange of basic information: facts, observations and experiences. There is much that remains unknown about each other.
2. Friend
Here the mentors reveal more about themselves: interests, thoughts, feelings, concerns, likes, dislikes and their pasts. One-anothering occurs here.
3. Close Buddy
Peer mentors move move from friend to close buddy when they have mutual commitment to pursue a meaningful goal.
The following chart provides a means to keep track of peer co-mentors:
D. The Mentoring Role
Youth pastors have a public role as teacher, prophet and priest. There is a flip side to these roles: they are to help people discover the truth (teacher); follow Christ's way (priest) and know God's comfort (prophet). While this occurs to a degree within programmes and structures, it is in one-on-one or mentor relationships that they best occur. As a mentor, there are three roles that are played:
(1) Discovering the Truth
The Hebrew word for a teacher, morah, comes from the root word torah, meaning "the way". A "morah" is a person who points the way. A mentor walks with a person part of the way, then stops and points out the rest of the way. But, in actual fact, a mentor goes further than this, because he seeks to learn from the person that he is mentoring. To achieve this, it is important to: (a) stop teaching - it is better to point people towards the truth than simply giving them answers; (b) listen - mentors encourage the person to voice their own thoughts and respect what they say; and (c) encourage disagreement - people are encouraged to interact and not forced to conform.
(2) Discerning God's Will
A mentor's prophetic role involves helping people to keep the faith and providing encouragement to live a faithful Christian lifestyle. This is done through encouragement, affirmation and praise. The mentor would rather have people discover God's will for themselves than tell them what God's will is for their lives. The goal of mentoring here is to help people discern and follow the will of God on their own. It is helpful when the mentors affirms what is going right in the person's life: (a) express encouragement regularly; (b) build trust through consistency; (c) don't qualify the affirmation; and (d) confront only when the right has been earned.
(3) Knowing God's Comfort
The mentor as priest acts as an intermediary between God and the person being mentored. This involves praying for the person as well as announcing God's forgiveness and comfort when appropriate. Mentors should pray that the person might know the comfort of God personally. It is essential that mentors be loving enough to wound (Proverbs 27:5-6) and caring enough to affirm (Hebrews 10:24).
E. The Mentoring Process
The mentoring process begins with engendering trust, issuing a challenge, providing encouragement and offering a vision for the journey. These are essential qualities and guidelines that will ensure that the relationship is begun. In order to develop meaningful relationships with people being mentored it is suggested that the following stages are considered:
(1) Create Encounters
Make contact with people on a regular basis. The purpose of these encounters is to begin to get close to the person.
(2) Fade into the Relationship
The signal to engage is a mentoring relationship will be spotted when the leader stops teaching, listens and encourages growth that is evidenced. A person will allow the mentor to see deeper and deeper into their life - an indication that the mentor relationship is developing. At times it may be appropriate, on the basis of a relationship, to request permission or indicate willingness to be a mentor or be mentored.
(3) Offer Regular Check Ins
Mentoring occurs when regular appointments are scheduled, such as a weekly hour spent together over a cup of coffee at a restaurant, but does not end there. As we stay in touch with people we give them opportunities to check in as and when needed. Crises or other life experiences (positive or negative) are excellent opportunities to share encouragement or offer guidance.
(4) Fade out of the Relationship
Mentoring is not like a counselling relationship that lasts for seven sessions and then is terminated. It is more ongoing - sometimes lifelong. But there are different levels of involvement and over time more intense mentoring will give way to less regular meeting and involvement.
Paul Stanley provides ten commandments for mentoring: (1) Establish the mentoring; (2) Agree on the purpose of relating; (3) Determine regularity of interaction; (4) Determine the type of accountability; (5) Set up communication mechanisms; (6) Clarify the level of confidentiality; (7) Set the life cycle of the relationship; (8) Evaluate the relationship periodically; (9) Modify expectations to reality; and (10) Bring closure to the relationship.
In summary, a mentor is a friend who shapes the life of another. Sometimes they help the person discover truth, or offer encouragement, or mediate the grace and comfort of God. This influence changes and matures the person being mentored and helps to grow the person doing the mentoring.
F. A Mentoring Plan
The following plan for one-on-one or small group discipleship has been developed. The purpose of this plan is to develop people to be sincere and faithful disciples of Jesus Christ. The objective is to provide them with the means to teach others (2 Timothy 2:2). The method of Jesus and his teaching is our guideline and means within which we teach a disciple to follow Jesus: (1) Meet at least once a week for at least one hour - no more than four people in a group meeting (including the leader). However, one at a time seems to work best. (2) Provide materials for daily Bible reading - spend a brief amount of time listening to what they have learned. (3) Spend time in prayer - encourage each person to keep a prayer notebook or list. Instruct them to pray for their personal development as a person of God during their daily private prayer. (4) Spend non-structured time with them - invite them to do things with you such as helping a friend, or attending a game or sporting event.
7. LEADERSHIP EVENTS
The validity of using leadership opportunities within a local church and in the community should not be forgotten in the ministry of discipleship. Leaders should encourage Christian youth to attend leadership training seminars and camps that will equip youth with skills and a passion for leadership.
8. UNCOMFORTABLE EVENTS
Duffy Robbins in The Ministry of Nurture says that people need markers in their spiritual development - experiences that represent important steps forward in their lives. While youth do need monumental experiences, they must view them as milestones and not allow them to become tombstones. He stresses that often it is through the unplanned events, or events that go wrong, that youth experience the need to trust God and put their faith to the test. It is not until people attempt that which is risky that they learn to trust God. He says: "So often in youth programmes we go out of our way to ensure that youth are not put into an uncomfortable situation. We don't ask them to lead Bible study because standing up in front of their peers may scare them. We protect them from the consequences of bad decisions because we want to help them. We don't pressure them to try something new because it might make them feel awkward. But those kinds of circumstances are precisely what force them to reach beyond themselves and their own resources" (1990:162).
Thom Schultz in Group Magazine's Youth Ministry Minute entitled Making Kids Uncomfortable says: "Truly effective youth workers do not flee from learning opportunities that may cause young people to feel uncomfortable." Many youth leaders display a low tolerance for subjecting their young people to uncomfortable learning situations. They prefer an environment where young people always feel at ease and comfortable with the content and the process. Maybe leaders should be in youth ministry to make youth uncomfortable. Not for the sake of feeling uncomfortable, but for the opportunity for spiritual growth.
There are a number of reasons why youth leaders may avoid making youth feel uncomfortable: (1) some leaders are attracted to youth ministry primarily to receive love from youth, so causing discomfort seems counterproductive; (2) some leaders receive satisfaction from rescuing youth from life's dangers and temptations - but helping youth to avoid temporary discomfort sacrifices long-term learning; (3) some leaders avoid subjecting youth to uncomfortable moments because they feel inadequate to handle how youth might react; and (4) some leaders may feel that the church is not the place to handle tough issues, yet it is the perfect place to address issues that youth are dealing with daily.
Leaders should realise that uncomfortable feelings often jar people into learning important stuff. Feeling uncomfortable is an emotional response and emotions intensify the potential for learning. Jesus often made people feel uncomfortable to enhance learning.
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