Commitment level youth ministry will not be fully implemented until youth leaders begin to
involve themselves in a vital area of the lives of young people: namely, their home life. If leaders
hope to relate to the parents of youth, discover the background and context of young people's lives, or
minister effectively to those affected by dysfunctional families they must penetrate the
environment that youth spend so much of their time in. Home visitation is a key feature to
effective ministry among young people.
1. Reasons for Visiting
In case there are those who are not convinced of the need to visit, consider the following reasons
or benefits for visiting young people in their homes:
A. Gain Insights
Youth leaders gain valuable insights about young people when they spend time where the young
people live. We learn a lot just by observing their home situation, the pictures on their walls and
the kind of toys and activities that amuse them. Meeting siblings and parents will expand you
understanding of the individual.
B. Communicate Interest
Young people will sense that you are really concerned about them as an individual when you
arrive at their home, not to spend time with their older sisters, brothers or parents, but with them.
C. Reach Families
The goal of ministry to young people includes the desire to integrate young people fully into their
families and to reach out to the family members and bring them to Christ. Home visitation opens
doors of contact that will enable invitations to services, open opportunities of witness and show
that the church is concerned about the whole family and not just youth.
D. Promote Attendance
A by-product of home visitation will be an increase in attendance at the youth group. Young
people who sense that the leader is truly concerned about them will be faithful in attendance, and
probably more willing to invite friends along as well.
There are many more reasons that could be advanced, such as the example set by Jesus who
visited people in their homes, a desire to maintain a Christian presence in the homes of our
society, etc. But we must not stand and enjoy the benefits of visiting - we must get out there and
start visiting. Here are some of the "how to's" of visitation.
2. Preparing for Visitation
As leaders we must set an example of visiting young people. This will give those who work with
us in ministry to youth the needed stimulus and practical help with what seems to be a frightening
task. We cannot expect someone to start visiting all alone, but should rather provide others with
an opportunity for going with someone more experienced, perhaps ourselves. We need to talk
about our own nervousness and fears about meeting family members of our youth so that those
who work with us will feel more at ease.
Begin to share a vision with student leaders for visiting maybe one home a week or month. Set up
pairs who will go together and even set up the appointments with them for the visit, if necessary.
Keep a track on the visitation and be sure to meet with the couple afterwards and evaluate their
visit, to deal with any difficulties that they experienced.
Make visitation a vital part of the functional part of your ministry to youth and ensure that you are
not the only one doing all the visiting. Student leaders can be used greatly by God in ministry into
the homes of young people. Visiting skills can be taught to a small group who will probably enjoy
the activity after some exposure.
3. Planning the Visit
Do not simply arrive at the doorstep and say, "Hi! I've come to visit." It is usually best to
determine when would be an appropriate time to visit, so that you do not clash with a meal or
study time. People appreciate being notified in advance that someone is coming to visit. State the
reason why you wish to visit and ask if it would be convenient. This gives them a chance to
decline or suggest an alternative time. If a young person expressed a hesitation about you coming to visit, it may be because of a home situation that they wish to keep hidden, or something that they are embarrassed about. If this occurs then suggest meeting them at a neutral place, like a shopping centre, a fast food outlet or a park, in fact any place that will provide a setting where you can talk is ideal.
4. Guidelines for the Visit
A. Visit in Pairs
Jesus established a pattern when he sent his disciples out in two's to reach people. The pair should
agree beforehand on who will do the most talking, or at least take the lead. The other should be in
prayer for the family without being so quiet that they come across as "not quite normal" to the
parents.
B. Choose The Time Carefully
Together with the young person agree on a time that will be convenient. Be careful of setting a
time that will interfere with a family meal time or other practicalities such as bath time. Make sure
that the young person is comfortable with the time agreed on.
C. Pray Before You Go
Your visit will bring the light of Christ into a home that may not be godly, so be sure to surround
the visit in prayer for guidance and victory over the forces of darkness.
D. Smile And Introduce Yourself
First impressions are lasting ones, so be sure to smile and introduce yourself clearly when the door
is opened.
E. Check That The Time Is Convenient
Just to be certain, ask whether the timing of the visit is alright. What may have been fine to the
young person may not be so with the parents. If the timing is not convenient, offer to come back
at a later opportunity.
F. Explain The Reason For The Visit
It is important to state your reason for visiting in a way that will be acceptable to the parents
concerned. Do not say, "I've come to see why Johnny was not at youth group on Friday night," as
this may antagonise. A parents reaction may be, "What a cheek! It's up to me whether I send him
or not." A better approach could be, "I've brought Johnny a leaflet from the programme he missed
on Friday. I do hope that he is not ill? I really missed him on Friday night, he's always such a
pleasure to have around."
G. Do Not Assume Parents Names
When you encounter a person who identify themselves as a parent of the young person, do not
say, "Oh, then you must be Mr Jones?" You will only do this once, as I did, and die from
embarrassment when you discover that they are a step or foster parent who has a different
surname to the young person you are visiting. Rather ask them their name to be safe.
H. Be Friendly With The Parents
Most parents will be happy to have someone visit their kids who shows a real interest in and a
concern for the young person as an individual, and not just from a spiritual "scalp-hunter's" point
of view. So befriend the parents and treat them with the respect that they deserve.
I. Start Up A Conversation With The Young Person
The purpose of your visit is primarily to meet with the young person. Be careful of the temptation
to spend time with the parents or siblings so that the young person is ignored. It is a real
temptation to do so because it is easier to talk to someone closer to your own age than a young
person who is much younger than you. Also be careful of betraying confidences and saying things
that will get the young person into trouble when you are gone. Beware, as well, about speaking
about the young person in front of him or her, except when giving praise.
J. Maintain A Healthy Conversation With The Young Person
Many areas can be explored in conversation with the young person, not as an interrogation check-list, but as a guideline to stimulate discussion with them. Be relaxed and informal without trying to cover everything in one visit:
* Show an interest in their home environment
* Ask how they enjoyed past events or programmes
* Discuss future events and programmes
* Talk about activities and hobbies of interest to them
* Talk about school and sport activities
* Talk about their relationship to Jesus
* Talk about their likes and dislikes
K . Accept Strange Behaviour From The Young Person
When you show that you are pleased to see the young person in their home and show an interest
in the things that belong to them, you will probably see the young person begin to "show off." He
probably will not know how to react having two worlds collide. You represent the one, ie. the
youth group and home another. Show that you understand why the young person is behaving
strangely so that the parent who is going through agonies of shame over their kid's behaviour will
feel at ease.
L. Leave Something With The Young Person
Before you end the visit, leave something with the young person: a gift from the group, a list of
upcoming events, a special pamphlet with lots of happy faces, a bookmark, or other inexpensive
item of stationary with a verse on it, etc. This is important as a tangible expression of concern for
the young person, and will give them a reminder of your interest.
M. Do Not Overstay Your Welcome
Do not wait until you are thrown out of the home at midnight. When you arrive, state the time
that you intent to stay for. A half an hour to an hour should be sufficient.
N. Pray About The Visit
When you get home, spend some time praying for any concerns that were expressed, or needs that
the family has. Pray for the individuals in the family as well.
5. Ending the Visit
We touched on the need to avoid overstaying a welcome. This often happens because we do not
know how to end a visit. This may be the result of having difficulty in ending a visit or waiting for
others to leave so that you can be alone with the young person to get to the real purpose of the
visit. It is easier to end a visit if you state in advance your intentions and the time that you plan to
take. Do not be afraid to ask parents or siblings if you can spend five minutes alone with the
person you are visiting so that you can speak in private. Often parents will hang around out of
interest or because it is the polite thing to do. Be clear when you communicate that you are leaving. Do not make an excuse for leaving, simply thank the family for their time and share that you would like to make a return visit sometime, then get up and make physical steps to leave. Be sure to thank the family for their time and for any refreshments that were served, as well as thanking the person of the fun time you were able to spend together. Give the assurance that you are available should the family wish to speak with you concerning any issue. This will ensure an open door of opportunity, and possibly prompt the parents to communicate with you at a later stage concerning the development of their kid. Remember, parents are interested in their kids and the teaching they receive.
6. Recording the Visit
Sit down after a visit and make notes of what you have learnt. Record all visits on some system of
follow-up. Use card, or a book, but make sure that you record important information, such as, the
names of family members, dates of special events, details of family conditions and background,
etc. When you next visit, be sure to revise the recordings of the last visit, so that it is fresh in your
mind.
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